Sick of Being Kinky

Every time we fuck, he tries something new.  He researches in his free time.  He has no trouble making me orgasm in missionary and with his tongue.  He had learned how much I love being talked to, teased, and having my mouth fucked.

Tonight, we fucked 3 times.  I had been close to orgasm each time.  But I wanted to just do it.  I wanted to make him happy.  I wanted to beg to cum and show him how good he makes me feel.

Once again, I was having to focus on dirty thoughts to get there.  I was thinking about being used.. and degraded.   I was frustrated and disappointed in myself.  I  didn’t want to have to think of anything else.  I was sick of being so difficult.  I was sick of forcing guys to go out of their way for my fucked up kinks.

I was sick of being kinky.

I broke down with frustration.. couldn’t word it correctly.. made him defensive..  cried when he sounded angry..

and then talked in the calm way we are both learning..

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