I know I talked about safe words in the past.  I had never safe worded.  I didn’t want to ever safe word.  I loved being tough and too strong for a safe word.  City Boy and I talked about safe words.  He wanted me to have one and I agreed because  I wasn’t planning on saying it.

That first night, I was in a spreader bar with my tits on the bed and my legs spread.  He was fucking me hard and it felt amazing.  But soon, my legs were on fire.  The heels were 3 inches and I had been standing too long.  I begged to move.  I pleaded.   Then I used my bitch voice.  “I need to move.  It hurts.” He moved my position, we finished, and then it was time to talk.

Was that how I wanted things?  Did I want to come out of my submission and control the scene? Wasn’t that what my safe word was for?  I explained that I didn’t want things to end and I wasn’t feeling out of control.  Since I didn’t want to stop, I didn’t want to safe word.  City Boy reminded me that I wanted to have pain and push my limits and that being stubborn was not going to work in my favor.

So we switched from “mango” to the standard (boring) “yellow” and “red”.  “Yellow” means, change the position or ease up because I am about to break.  “Red” means, stop things and give me after care.

I have used yellow twice since…


2 thoughts on “Safewords

  1. Very interesting post.

    I understand that some people think “if you have never safeworded, then you have never been pushed to your limit”.

    I enjoy giving pain as part of playtimes, but for me there is Good Pain and Not-So-Good Pain.

    Good Pain: Enhances our play…gives my sub a contrast to the pleasure she feels…brings me pleasure because she’s taking something she doesn’t like for me…is intentional and planned. Too much Good Pain can cause her to safeword, but if I do my job right that won’t happen.

    Not-So-Good Pain: Interrupts…distracts me…distracts her…surprises me. Not-So-Good Pain can come from a mistake I’ve made (maybe I don’t have her in the right position) or it could be as simple as her leg is cramping up because of her workout yesterday.

    So when you were playing with City Boy and you had to safeword, was he intentionally pushing you?

    Clearly you were surprised by it – but you’re the sub. When you look at it from his perspective, was he surprised/distracted/interrupted?

    It may have been more than you could handle in the moment, but for him, was it Good Pain?

    1. I guess it was good pain for him. In the end it was also good for us because we communicated more clearly about safe words… so I am not really sure…

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