i like you

What do you mean, ‘You get weird in relationships?’

I don’t know.  I get worried.  I guess not in all relationships. In the past, I got worried when I liked him.  I guess I was afraid.

Afraid of what?

I was afraid he would stop liking me.  I felt like I needed reassurance.  I needed to know that he still liked me.

So you have low self esteem in relationships?

Not in all relationships.  Things are great when I don’t like the guy.

So how do you feel about me?

I don’t want to talk about that.  I don’t want to go there.  That won’t be good for us right now.

Come on.  Tell me.  I want to talk about this.

Fine.  I like you enough to feel worried.  Is that good enough?

Yeah.  That’s enough.

A few minutes passed.  To say I was feeling a little insecure, is an understatement.  I wanted to crawl through the screen.

Let’s go to bed.

Seriously?  You want to go to bed? You made me say that and you have nothing to say.  I just told you I want reassurance and you end the conversation?  How do you feel about me then?

I guess I don’t know yet.

Oh okay. Goodnight.

Did he mean to make me vulnerable?  Is he weak enough that he was praying on my insecurities to reassure himself?  Does he need power that bad? Is he stupid enough to have not known a better way?  I feel sick.  Part of me wants to hate him so that I don’t like him.  Maybe I just need another set of eyes…

Is he being mean? Should I be seeing a red flag here?

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “i like you

  1. Thank you for your response YF. I’ve asked him to think hard and figure out better what he wants. We seem to both be learning how to communicate what we feel in a better way.

  2. Maybe “I don’t know yet” is code for “I feel something, but I can’t articulate it (yet).”

    Or maybe it means “I’m so overwhelmed with what I feel for you that I’m a little afraid to say it out loud…because then it would be real…and the feelings I have for you are so strong that they scare me a little.”

    Or maybe it means something else entirely.

    I have no idea. I can’t empathize with him. I’m not inside his head.

    Ask *him*. Talk to *him*. Give him time to answer. Give him space to process.

    From what you’ve said, this is all very new. Give it time. You will know soon enough.

    And whatever his response, I hope it is what you want it to be.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s