What do you mean, ‘You get weird in relationships?’
I don’t know. I get worried. I guess not in all relationships. In the past, I got worried when I liked him. I guess I was afraid.
Afraid of what?
I was afraid he would stop liking me. I felt like I needed reassurance. I needed to know that he still liked me.
So you have low self esteem in relationships?
Not in all relationships. Things are great when I don’t like the guy.
So how do you feel about me?
I don’t want to talk about that. I don’t want to go there. That won’t be good for us right now.
Come on. Tell me. I want to talk about this.
Fine. I like you enough to feel worried. Is that good enough?
Yeah. That’s enough.
A few minutes passed. To say I was feeling a little insecure, is an understatement. I wanted to crawl through the screen.
Let’s go to bed.
Seriously? You want to go to bed? You made me say that and you have nothing to say. I just told you I want reassurance and you end the conversation? How do you feel about me then?
I guess I don’t know yet.
Oh okay. Goodnight.
Did he mean to make me vulnerable? Is he weak enough that he was praying on my insecurities to reassure himself? Does he need power that bad? Is he stupid enough to have not known a better way? I feel sick. Part of me wants to hate him so that I don’t like him. Maybe I just need another set of eyes…
Is he being mean? Should I be seeing a red flag here?