Let go!

For two days now, I have had this feeling.  It’s like dread.  I don’t know if it is fear or if my heart knows something I don’t know.  When I try to look at it, it feels like fear.  Is that just rationalizing?  Is my upset stomach a message that this won’t work?  Or is the upset stomach a symptom of my history.  The emotional baggage that never showed up when I played for fun.  Is that feeling of dread, the fear that it won’t work.  What if we don’t fall in love? What if he does?  What if I have to end this and don’t know how to get out and I have to hurt him?  I am listing the bad traits and constantly wondering if they are alright.  I know I need to let go and just have fun.  Why am I worrying anyway?  I believe things work out. I know that if it is meant to be it will.  I know I will come out of this in the way I should.  I need to let the control go.


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