For two days now, I have had this feeling. It’s like dread. I don’t know if it is fear or if my heart knows something I don’t know. When I try to look at it, it feels like fear. Is that just rationalizing? Is my upset stomach a message that this won’t work? Or is the upset stomach a symptom of my history. The emotional baggage that never showed up when I played for fun. Is that feeling of dread, the fear that it won’t work. What if we don’t fall in love? What if he does? What if I have to end this and don’t know how to get out and I have to hurt him? I am listing the bad traits and constantly wondering if they are alright. I know I need to let go and just have fun. Why am I worrying anyway? I believe things work out. I know that if it is meant to be it will. I know I will come out of this in the way I should. I need to let the control go.