I’m a fun drunk. I’m a horny, playful, seductive drunk. I like being drunk. I’ve heard many times, “You are so much fun drunk.” and “You should get drunk more often.” I understand enough about alcoholism to realize that I am at VERY high risk. I come from a family with addiction problems and my drug of choice would be alcohol.
We talked a lot about alcohol this past weekend. It’s been showing up often. I would bring a bottle. We would drink a little before a new role play. It would loosen me up so that I could get past my inhibitions. It helped me to stop obsessing about whether my character was “authentic” enough or if I looked sexy in my outfit.
We talked about whether a 3rd party would be allowed to drink alcohol when involved with us. There was no question. Alcohol is inappropriate in a scene. WAIT! If it is inappropriate to use liquid lube to make an experience easier with a 3rd party, why was it okay for us? Why would I want to dull the discomfort? That discomfort is a part of the bond of BDSM. Why would I want to take away his chance to push me past what I thought I could do?
Alcohol isn’t right for me with a partner. It allows me to detach and the most important part of this journey is my attachment to my play partner. That attachment is built through safe risks, trust, and a little bit of discomfort.