Alcohol

I’m a fun drunk.  I’m a horny, playful, seductive drunk.  I like being drunk.  I’ve heard many times, “You are so much fun drunk.” and “You should get drunk more often.”  I understand enough about alcoholism to realize that I am at VERY high risk.  I come from a family with addiction problems and my drug of choice would be alcohol.

We talked a lot about alcohol this past weekend.  It’s been showing up often.  I would bring a bottle.  We would drink a little before a new role play.  It would loosen me up so that I could get past my inhibitions.  It helped me to stop obsessing about whether my character was “authentic” enough or if I looked sexy in my outfit.

We talked about whether a 3rd party would be allowed to drink alcohol when involved with us.  There was no question.  Alcohol is inappropriate in a scene.  WAIT!  If it is inappropriate to use liquid lube to make an experience easier with a 3rd party, why was it okay for us?  Why would I want to dull the discomfort?  That discomfort is a part of the bond of BDSM.  Why would I want to take away his chance to push me past what I thought I could do?

Alcohol isn’t right for me with a partner.  It allows me to detach and the most important part of this journey is my attachment to my play partner.  That attachment is built through safe risks, trust, and a little bit of discomfort.

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