Saying No

I have ALWAYS had trouble saying no.  Don’t get me wrong.  I say no quite well outside of the bedroom.  No, I can’t attend a meeting with such little notice.  No, I don’t want to cook tonight.  No, I can’t lend you money again.

But in the bedroom, it is totally different.  I love submitting.  I love putting his needs first.  I can say “no” as a plea or a request but a real “no” just seems to disappear.  I guess that makes it all the more important that I am with guys I trust.  It is essential that they make sure I don’t hurt myself.  It is a requirement that they pay attention because my job is simple.  I just submit.

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4 thoughts on “Saying No

  1. Sara….. I am a 24/7 submissive to my husband and Dom of 21 years. In the bedroom I never say no, but I will make requests, and ask for things respectfully. It’s always at Sirs discretion as to wether he wishes to allow my request. Otherwise I am there wanting to please him always.

    However what I want to actually stress to you is that all the no’s should be discussed and brought forward in conversation with a new Dom way before the bedroom part is ever indulged in. Make sure he has gained your trust, and discuss all your limits hard and soft. But above all else communication and trust must be firmly in place before you play! If this has been done you will have no reasons to use the word no!

    1. Mynx,

      I love your response. It makes a lot of sense that the trust and honesty that develops before a scene allows a sub to be comfortable in not saying no. Thanks for taking the time to point out such an important idea.

      Sarajules

  2. Sara,

    I know you’re awaiting replies from your sub followers, but I had to jump in. I hope you don’t mind.

    I don’t have a lot of experience with subs, but when I find one — like you — who does not, or cannot, say “no” I treasure her.

    That kind of submission is a rare gift.

    I hope that everyone who gets to play with you realizes this and treasures you. It sounds like you deserve it.

    YM

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