As the time drew nearer, I considered my choice. I don’t don’t know you well enough. Somehow, I know that we will do this anyway. You aren’t a dom. You don’t know this world. You don’t seem afraid but you should be. You should be reticent and annoyed at what I want you to do. You are excited but I know it won’t end well. I will get rebellious or realize that pain hurts. You will get tired of being in charge and ask me to do the work.
The contract is a surprise. There are rules that I don’t like but I want to submit fully. I sign. You tell me to remove my panties. Can I talk? I peel them off and you take them. I am instructed to play. I know you want me ready and wet for you. My heart is racing and I can’t focus on playing. You touch me lightly and I shift to get more. I wish your hands were where mine are. We arrive and I strip in the entry way. I thought this moment would be terrifying but I feel freed. I awkwardly grab your hand when instructed. I feel like a confused child as you walk me through the room. You tell me to sit to be inspected. I can feel myself moisten as you expose each part of my body and look closely.
We had talked about punishment. I hadn’t told you I was afraid. I knew I could take pain. I have always been strong. But what if it was just pain? What if it paled in comparison to my fantasies? You spanked me with a paddle, you used a crop, you used clamps, and clothespins. You were patient and perceptive. At times, I didn’t think I could take more and then I was on the edge of an orgasm as the sensations mixed.
For a passing moment, I wondered if my fantasies would still be enough to get me off…