Slippery Slope

Day 7: Monkey eat now.
(Photo credit: Mozzer502)

Since I have now dealt with or at least admitted to almost all of my sexual fears, I thought it was time to hit the last one.

The first time I tried to explain this to a boyfriend, I was probably 16.   I said something like, “If today we are at first base and I want more, tomorrow we will be at second.  When I loose my virginity, I will want more too.  I will want deeper and harder and faster.  Then, I’ll be having butt sex because I am too stretched out.  Someday my holes will all be so stretched out that I will need crazy things to get off.  Where will it end?  Will I have monkeys sticking bananas in all my holes when I’m 80?” The boyfriend stared at me wide eyed and I quickly learned this fear was better kept to myself.

It only scares me more now.  Long ago, I could spend a night grinding against a cute boy and be more than satisfied.  For a while, I had sweet vanilla sex with no urge to get more.  Then I needed a bit of encouragement from a dirty story.  What will I do when it gets old?  How will I get to the next level when the next level may not be safe?

I hope I have a Master on the day that I start sliding towards monkeys and bananas…


4 thoughts on “Slippery Slope

  1. These emotions and cravings you speak of …we are born with them and they are there until we die.They are deep- seeded, embed. Thats what human beings were created for; to reproduce or at least act like it and love each other. There is nothing else. That why there are so many different types of people and different preferences. Our Creator gave us a the most amazing brain with the ability to make choices. Carl Sagan said, “Man is the only living species that has the the ability to make choices.” … and with that to decide who we are attracted to. To survive we must fill our deep need to make choices, select partners, couple and then move on.”

  2. Hello mira.
    I took a better look at your blog and I love how you write and the subjects you choose to deal with. I thought to give an answer to this post and add another perspective in your way of thinking. You see, as I understand you measure everything in cm, in size the same way a vanilla does but you know a lot better as I believe.

    You know in BDSM the satisfaction is not carnal based but mental, deep in our heart and soul. In time what actually gives you all the satisfaction is your feeling of submission, your knowledge. Of course all that will lead into carnal expressions yet their importance is a lot deeper.

    There are examples that only the command of the Dom to the sub to cum is enough to bring her to a release of pleasure. That is what I will bring you as example to take under considerations. Why is she cumming? Is it the size? Any banana? How she gets pleasure? The answer is one. The knowledge of serving the desire of her Dom is enough. After all, anything we do sexually has only one goal, to excite our brain functions and make us operate sexually.

    Master P

    1. Thank you Master P. I see your viewpoint and understand the idea that the D\s relationship comes from a deeper place and therefore brings a different and deeper satisfaction. I have felt the power of the D\s relationship to some degree but I think experience will help me to understand the change more deeply. I feel a little more at ease with the idea of the mental satisfaction a Dom will bring me helping to ease my carnal desires. Only time and experience will bring me complete comfort with this idea. Thank you for your careful and considerate response.

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