Hurting Me

Smoke
(Photo credit: AMagill)

We all have stuff we do that hurts our bodies but we continue doing it.  I might smoke, overeat, forget to eat, or do a sport that puts my life at risk.  Whatever my coping mechanism, they are similar.

I have been doing it for as long as I can remember.  It gave me something I was missing.  It gave me control, strength, and power.  I justified it to myself in a hundred different ways and explained it to my peers in a hundred more.  I know others see it as  “unhealthy” but if I control the risks, who has a right to deny me something that makes me happy?

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3 thoughts on “Hurting Me

  1. Well, at some point you have to find a replacement for it. I was a cutter for years. I slipped last December and now have three scars on my lower belly. I had a Sir at the time and I gave him my knife. We are no longer together, but I don’t want the knife back. There was something about the relationship that did allow me to grow. He never punished me for it. That doesn’t mean he was happy about it. He knew the immense guilt that I carried from cutting.

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