I have never liked how shy and indecisive I can be.
I want someone else to make all of my big life decisions. It has taken me years to end relationships because I don’t want to deal with the fear of making a mistake. Buying a car ended in tears, anger, and a beautiful car that took 4 months to admit I love. I would rather starve then pick the restaurant and accepting my current job was a beautiful mistake.
I turn bright red when a cute guy looks my way. I avoid social situations where there are more than 3 people and I cannot make small talk. I can’t tell you if I have been hit on because I was probably looking at my shoes. Don’t ask me to look you in the eyes while I talk to you about sex and don’t worry about house guests, I am quieter than a mouse in bed.
So, it seems a little counterproductive to embrace the side that I have fought all my life to change. You want to make my decisions for me and be my strength in all social situations? Well, I guess I can make that sacrifice but what happens when I am alone again? What do I do when I am forced to go back to being the wallflower that can’t decide what to wear? If I embrace my submissive side, who will I be without someone else in control?
- Indecisiveness (dranilj1.wordpress.com)
- an indecisive battle (confessionsofabeautifuldisaster.wordpress.com)